The Second Step

In this post I will outline “the second step” in re-balancing my life. I am trying to learn more about myself by learning more about life. To be more precise, I am doing things I would not normally do to find out how I feel while doing it, so I can see better how my mind works. I am also exploring my hobbies and certain fields of interest to broaden my perspectives and enrich my personality.

A cumbersome list

I compiled the following list of fields of interest (no particular order):

1) Dance

2) Fashion

3) Art and design

4) Photography

5) Poetry

6) Physics and universe

7) Languages

8) Psychology

Then, I set out trying to find out what would be a good way to realise it.

Example from Korea (of what not to do!)

Normally, I would set a very ambitious target for a subject like the ones above and do WHATEVER it takes to achieve it. For example, last year, in Korea I said to myself: “I must speak Korean by the end of my stay”! I succeeded, indeed. But, honestly, I sacrificed so many other things, that I doubt that this sacrifice was actually worth it. That is because I could have allowed myself to do more of other things (e.g. playing football, going out with friends, visiting interesting places) that would also benefit me, but in a different way. At the same time, I could compensate the less intensive study of the Korean language by putting more effort into it later during the year. This way I would avoid stress and frustration and develop in a much more balanced way.

Now what’s the deal here? Well, looking at this example made me realise that learning does not necessarily mean committing 100% of energy. It is probably more effective (even though it may take longer) to just have fun with it, without imposing overambitious targets. Especially, in the case of hobbies!

Therefore, this time I simply decided to allow things to just roll on their own rather than fanatically pursue them. Allow them to bloom within me.

This, I think, shows what I am trying to say - it takes time to achieve something, so why rush things up?

Chop the list into pieces!

Taking the above-mentioned thesis as my prerogative I got rid of half of the subjects from the list. This way only dance, fashion, art and language made it to the final four.

I kept it simple. I enrolled in a dance school (just one lesson per week), bought a couple of fashion magazines and made a list of museums I wanted to see. I also enrolled on a weekend Korean course to have a bit of practice. The rest of the topics I left for “unspecified later”. And you know what? I am glad! I am doing what I like, and I am avoiding stupid stress.

One of the places on my museum list -
The Royal Picture Gallery Mauritshuis, The Hague

Almost there

Now, there was yet another thing I wanted to achieve by taking up these various activities. Namely, I wanted to develop my social skills. In particular, I wanted to become more comfortable in meeting new people.

As you may know, I have been travelling a lot recently. And that obviously meant that I was meeting a lot of new people. I had a great time, but in the end I must say that I am not satisfied with the way it often turned out. Why? I simply sucked at being a human being, by default, a social creature. So, by attending courses in dance and Korean I wanted to test, what really works when meeting new people? What does it take to develop that sort of “natural feeling” that one has when being around his or her relatives and closest friends?

To my amazement, here again, I have seen a very simple answer to emerge. Namely, just as with developing new interests, taking it easy and letting the dynamics of the situation guide the process is probably the best way to succeed and enjoy the company of others to the fullest.

Final word

So this is what I am trying to do to get to know myself and the world around me better. And what a difficult task this is! But I am not giving up. It’s already been an immensely rewarding experience. I am glad I came back home this summer.