Monday 28 July 2008

The Second Step

In this post I will outline “the second step” in re-balancing my life. I am trying to learn more about myself by learning more about life. To be more precise, I am doing things I would not normally do to find out how I feel while doing it, so I can see better how my mind works. I am also exploring my hobbies and certain fields of interest to broaden my perspectives and enrich my personality.

A cumbersome list

I compiled the following list of fields of interest (no particular order):

1) Dance
2) Fashion
3) Art and design
4) Photography
5) Poetry
6) Physics and universe
7) Languages
8) Psychology

Then, I set out trying to find out what would be a good way to realise it.

Example from Korea (of what not to do!)

Normally, I would set a very ambitious target for a subject like the ones above and do WHATEVER it takes to achieve it. For example, last year, in Korea I said to myself: “I must speak Korean by the end of my stay”! I succeeded, indeed. But, honestly, I sacrificed so many other things, that I doubt that this sacrifice was actually worth it. That is because I could have allowed myself to do more of other things (e.g. playing football, going out with friends, visiting interesting places) that would also benefit me, but in a different way. At the same time, I could compensate the less intensive study of the Korean language by putting more effort into it later during the year. This way I would avoid stress and frustration and develop in a much more balanced way.

Now what’s the deal here? Well, looking at this example made me realise that learning does not necessarily mean committing 100% of energy. It is probably more effective (even though it may take longer) to just have fun with it, without imposing overambitious targets. Especially, in the case of hobbies!

Therefore, this time I simply decided to allow things to just roll on their own rather than fanatically pursue them. Allow them to bloom within me.

This, I think, shows what I am trying to say - it takes time to achieve something, so why rush things up?

Chop the list into pieces!

Taking the above-mentioned thesis as my prerogative I got rid of half of the subjects from the list. This way only dance, fashion, art and language made it to the final four.

I kept it simple. I enrolled in a dance school (just one lesson per week), bought a couple of fashion magazines and made a list of museums I wanted to see. I also enrolled on a weekend Korean course to have a bit of practice. The rest of the topics I left for “unspecified later”. And you know what? I am glad! I am doing what I like, and I am avoiding stupid stress.

One of the places on my museum list -
The Royal Picture Gallery Mauritshuis, The Hague

Almost there

Now, there was yet another thing I wanted to achieve by taking up these various activities. Namely, I wanted to develop my social skills. In particular, I wanted to become more comfortable in meeting new people.

As you may know, I have been travelling a lot recently. And that obviously meant that I was meeting a lot of new people. I had a great time, but in the end I must say that I am not satisfied with the way it often turned out. Why? I simply sucked at being a human being, by default, a social creature. So, by attending courses in dance and Korean I wanted to test, what really works when meeting new people? What does it take to develop that sort of “natural feeling” that one has when being around his or her relatives and closest friends?

To my amazement, here again, I have seen a very simple answer to emerge. Namely, just as with developing new interests, taking it easy and letting the dynamics of the situation guide the process is probably the best way to succeed and enjoy the company of others to the fullest.

Final word

So this is what I am trying to do to get to know myself and the world around me better. And what a difficult task this is! But I am not giving up. It’s already been an immensely rewarding experience. I am glad I came back home this summer.

Friday 18 July 2008

The First Step

This summer I thought it was time to get to know myself better. In the two and a half years since I left home, and particularly in the last twelve months I've been constantly on the move. I came across new cultures, people and customs. It was great to experience it all, but in the end it was a bit too much. Why? Well, inevitably being exposed to so much in such a short time left a major footprint on my personality. In other words, I simply changed. However, being busy jumping from one spot to another, I was left with little time to take note of these changes and got a bit lost. I became confused because I didn’t know how to lead my life. Particularly, I wanted to know, what is the right balance between work and leisure in life.

The wanderer above the sea of fog
Caspar David Friedrich

Mom, I'm staying at home this time!

Yes, instead of pursuing yet another adventure, I thought, this summer it was time to sit back, relax and contemplate. Primarily, I thought the best way to do this would be through reading biographies of men that had managed to make history as great leaders. This way, I would be able to see better how to lead my life to fulfil my ambitions. I also decided to go through some essential literature on the subjects that interest me professionally, in order to find out what I really want to do in life.

I made the following list of essential reading:

• Caesar: Life of a Colossus – Adrian Goldsworthy
• Napoleon: The Path to Power – Philip Dwyer
• Cicero on the Ideal Orator (De Oratore) – Cicero
• Art of War – Sun Tzu
• Ogilvy On Advertising – David Ogilvy
• The Four Pillars of Investing – William Bernstein
• The Intelligent Investor: The Definitive Book on Value Investing – Benjamin Graham

Why these books?

They are simply one of the best on these topics! Three of the books above ("Caesar", "Art of War" and “The Four Pillars”) I already wanted to read for a while. So, I set off with the excellent biography of Julius Caesar. I immediately became aware of my next target: Napoleon Bonaparte. To put their stories into perspective I choose to include in the list the well know Art of War by Sun Tzu. On top of this I thought it would be useful to read De Oratore by Cicero – the best orator in the history of the ancient Rome – which gives a deep insight into the art of oratory, yet another essential component of leadership, and so politics as well.

Following this I turned to my professional interests: marketing and finance. Ogilvy on Advertising, by the “father of advertising” David Ogilvy, is an interesting study of the subject and I want to find out more about it. Next, I chose to study investing. Here I began with the “Four Pillars” and plan to move on to “The Intelligent Investor”, by the greatest investment theorist EVER - Benjamin Graham (Warren Buffet’s professor and mentor!).

This is the first step

This is how I am trying to find out what I really want to do in life but also what really I can do. The next step is to learn more about life itself. How can I be happy while working hard to fulfil my ambitions? How can I get rid of some of my weaknesses, particularly within the sphere of social interaction? I will take on this subject in my next post.

Sunday 13 July 2008

Summer 2008

I love making plans and creating timetables. I also think I can do it pretty well. But I do suffer from being overly ambitious and keep stacking way too many tasks into relatively little amount of time. That is so often resulting in creating stressful situations, making it even harder to perform well. So, this summer I decided to take it easy. I was extremely busy for the past twelve months and had little to no rest. I lived, worked and studied in three countries after all. So what am I doing this summer? Quite a lot actually!

Summer work is pleasure
La vigne rouge by Vincent van Gogh

Three Step Personal Development Plan

First: I decided to learn more about people and issues related to my ambitions. Here my plan was to read biographies of the most renowned leaders and books concerned with areas of my professional interests. Ultimately, through this I hope to learn more about myself and define what is the meaning of “being successful”.

Second: I decided to broaden my perspectives by learning more about matters not usual for a typical business student. I started with: fashion, dance, cooking, and art. But I thought I should go even further and set upon practicing such trivial tasks such as hairstyling and ironing. The bottom line was: any new skill is progress. Progress means development. And I want to develop.

Third: I decided to become a member of the “I shouldn’t have” club. How does it work? It’s simple. Whenever there is an opportunity to do something, but I feel that it either “will not work” or that “ I can’t be bothered” etc., I just do it! No regrets allowed. I simply go for it, whatever it is.

But why?

In a series of future posts I will attempt to explain the particular motivations that were behind devising these three steps. I promise I will try to keep it interesting!